Martha Stewart has been in the game for a long time. She pioneered self-branding long before Gwyneth was slinging vagina candles, or the Grateful Dead was collaborating on aprons (they’re great, by the way). Whether you grew up hypnotized by her ability to crank out seasonal wreaths on Martha Stewart Living or only just clocked her wholesome friend-brand-ship with Snoop Dogg, you have to admit: Martha knows what’s up. She always has.
Over the decades, Martha has not just kept up with the times, but helped to define them in an increasingly celeb-led world of online shopping. Remember when she made an entire ceramic nativity set in prison—oh yeah, she went to prison that one time—and then sold replicas on her site? She even gained the respect of my other favorite she-king, Joan Didion. In a 2000 New Yorker essay, Didion asserts that “by branding herself not as Superwoman but as Everywoman, Stewart made even her troubles an integral part of her success.” She’s talented, but she’s also self-aware. Plus, she’s no narc.
Anyways. If it’s not at one-hundo, Martha won’t do it. So when I heard that my queen was slinging a new limited-edition release of her CBD gummies, I was curious to know what she’d regale us with next. An heirloom tomato flavor? Another *chef’s kiss* batch of quince and kumquat gumdrops? Lo and behold the tasty peak of spooky season, Martha Stewart’s limited edition pumpkin spice CBD gummies:
I’ve tried everything from CBD…