“The problem with having problems is that ‘someone’ always has it worse.”
― Tiffany Madison,
Good Evening, well I guess actually it would be just turning into the afternoon when you begin reading this but none the less I am hoping you are having a good day. It seems like so many things have happened so much that it can’t possibly be only 7 days since our last meeting. I guess we will start with how I have been feeling lately; I am now on my full dosage of all my meds now. 60mg of Cymbalta, 5mg Abilify, and 25mg Hydroxyzine.
The Cymbalta is an antidepressant that not only works on my severe depressive moods but as well as help control the amount of time my nerve synapsis fire and cause me extreme pain from my fibromyalgia. Even this med alone isn’t enough sometimes, especially if there is a sudden change in the weather or if I having a bad anxiety day. On top of the Cymbalta, I smoke cannabis to help me with my extreme pain that comes with fibromyalgia and some PTSD symptoms. OMG! did she just say she smoked weed? is she nuts? Nope! I am quite sane and a big advocate for cannabis. But if you want to learn more about why I am such huge supporter; stay tuned to my monthly post in my new “cannabis” publication that will take place every 1st Monday of every month. Cannabis Monday is where I will discuss my personal experience with smoking for both my chronic illness and my PTSD symptoms. The first cannabis Monday will premiere Feb.6th, 2017.
The Abilify is an anti-psychotic (now don’t have that scare you, I ain’t crazy yall) this helps with the mood swings that comes along with the PTSD and the severe depression. The hydroxyzine is an anti-anxiety medication that helps not only when my panic disorder is really bad but also when my insomnia is so terrible that nothing else will work. So, far I have been on these new meds for 2 weeks now and things do seem to be changing for the positive. I have been out of my room and more social with my family again. Taking care of my body cleanliness which has been an issue in the past has been less of a struggle. I have been able to think a lot more without having negative thoughts come disrupt what I am thinking about or whatever I am trying to do.
I have been a lot more punctual when it comes to staying on track with my blog posting and organization. Doing small things like again making sure I am clean, responding in a timely manner when it comes to job opportunities. Another thing I have decided after our last meeting was that I will continue to finish my degree online with OSU ECampus. (Go Beavs)! which has resulted in me becoming more positive about finishing school as well. I feel less pressured since being home and looking for full-time work. I am currently taking 8 credits this term with 1 of those classes being a pass/fail Internship for the Democratic Party of Oregon Women’s Caucus. I will be working on and using my diversity, equity, and inclusion consulting skills to help increase Intersectional awareness within the space. Since taking on that I have also become a Co-Organizer and Speaker for the 1st annual Women’s March on Portland an identical sister march originating from the Women’s March on Washington D.C.
So, I am very excited to share with you all that things are turning around for the better in my life. I am practicing every day to fight my mental health and chronic illness demons and helping to spread awareness and show that no matter how many times you get knocked down, you keep getting back up and fighting cause one day the world will fear your wrath and you will if you continue to fight be able to change the world.
“So, next time when your problem seems really bad or worse than others; remember you don’t need an umbrella you rather dance in the rain.”- Erica Fuller