Not sure what you guys were doing in high school, but my emo ass was listening to American Football’s self-titled 1999 album on repeat and wistfully crying into my Etnies to the plaintive strains of “The Summer Ends.” Truly makes you feel some type of way—and while I did eventually outgrow sad-boi music, I still haven’t outgrown the melancholia of the summer-to-fall transition.
Why am I talking about this? Because even just seeing what VICE readers bought this month is already making me nostalgic. The best-sellers of August 2022 tell a story even more eloquently than a Midwest math-rock album could. Looks like y’all have had a horny, memorable summer of dousing yourselves in pheromone oil, slipping on some nipple covers, and hitting the streets, then coming home to relax on your sex-optimized chaise lounge, snack on Momofuku noods, then pop a handful of CBD gummies, and drift off into peaceful slumber until the next sunshiney day comes. It’s a beautiful existence, and we’re proud of you.
Also making the cut: Hoka sneakers for the casual-five-mile-run crowd; cleaning gel that gives us the good shivers; a suction vibrator for every need; and the best record storage solution, recommended by an expert. Read on for the rundown of what made the “confirm order” cut for VICE readers in August.
Babe-magnet pheromone oil
This month, our staff writer Francky Knapp took this pheromone-infused fragrance to the streets of New York to see whether it really does attract…